A Royal Dilemma: Generational Habits and Trauma

We can't escape the news headlines today. They will continue for days or weeks to come as the dust settles on the new normal for the royal family.

We all have our own opinions based upon our own values and belief system. Who is right? Who is wrong? There have been some scathing attacks lobbed by keyboard warriors in favour and against both sides.

For us mere bystanders, whatever our opinions, they are just that. Opinions on the small snippets of information we take as fact. As we can see from the fall-out of this interview, our opinions carry weight. We are witnesses to what tabloids spin to get a click or a view. And from our distance in the stands, we will never see or know the full picture.

From outside the fish bowl it is easy to forget these are living, breathing human beings. Like us, they are entitled to feel the full spectrum of emotions. Words hurt, no matter who speaks or types them. As a rule, we perceive Brits - in particular, the monarchy - to have a stiff upper lip. Behind closed doors we have no idea how they emotionally respond. Yes, we are seeing elements of recent history repeat itself and for the first time in our lifetime, we are seeing someone stand up for their family. We are seeing someone breaking generational trends over a millennia in the making.

The only place we are normal is in our own little bubble.

We all grow up with our own norm. For the most part, what we consider to be our norms are a lot less ceremonious and much more flexible than that of institutionalised families such as The Windsors. It is almost impossible for us to understand 'normal' life in the palace, nor to understand what it must feel for a woman of 35 to enter into that lifestyle, after growing up in such varied circumstances.

Many of our values, beliefs, habits and behaviours take lifetimes to build. From sporting teams we choose to follow, religion or something as simple as how we fold our laundry, most of these are influenced by generations before us from the moment we learn to communicate. As we age, we work on developing or altering these to suit our individual needs and desires. None of these changes happen overnight. They take weeks of commitment and practice to integrate into our routine.

We do not have the shackles of expectation, history or power to work against when we decide to take steps to improve our situation. Under the reign of Queen Elizabeth II, we are seeing a family with publicised mental and emotional health issues. We are seeing a monarchy working blind on how to move forward, while being held back due to institutional failings on the matter.

Whether their step to tell this side of their story was appropriate or not, Harry and Meghan are working in their own way to break the generational trauma they have experienced. There is a bravery and courage that can not be overlooked in any step forward taken to de-stigmatise mental health issues.

With the exception of Archie and the Cambridge children, everyone concerned is a parent. As parents they are working in the ways they know - their core beliefs, values and feelings - to do what they as individuals and a collective believe is right.

Whether we agree or not, we do have this one simple thing in common with the royals.

We make decisions for our families everyday that someone will have an opinion, good or bad, about. As we come to the decision, among other feelings, we can have anxious and stressful thoughts. We make the best possible decision with the information we have at hand to achieve what is in the best interest of our families. We are fortunate not to have the world on our doorstep, scrutinising our every move.

Generational habits and traumas exist everywhere. If you find that these are having a detrimental effect of your life and would like to see how to better your situation with healthier habits, please feel free to call me for a confidential chat.

Well Wishes,

Claire @ The Health & Wellbeing Haven

0438 198 949

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